Recovery
by Chibi Night Angel
Summary: Kankri just wanted to watch over Karkat. He just wanted to protect him, be there for him when their father wasn't and help him grow up. But he ended up pushing him away and in the end, he lost himself. Now it's Karkat that has to help him grow up. Rated T for language.
1. Shut Up!

**A/N: This struck me in psychology class when we were learning about regression. Hope you enjoy~!**

_'Beep-Beep-Beep'_

A groan came from the pile of covers as a hand escaped and slammed itself down on the alarm clock. Slowly but surely, the sheets began to stir even more before a body lifted itself out. Spiky black hair stuck out in different directions while reddish-brown eyes tiredly opened to scan the room. Curses slipped from his lips as he contemplated moving to go to school today or not. Unfortunately, the decision was made for him when a knock sounded out.

"Karkat? Karkat, I hope you are awake. You are not going to miss school today like you did before. I just will not allow it."

"Ugh, shut up Kankri, I'm getting up okay?"

"Well I do not hear you emerging from the bed nor your room, so I assume you are trying to make me leave and then you will merely lie back down and go back to sleep. I really do not understand why you try so hard to avoid school Karkat. It is essential for your future and you will have to pay it back and-"

Karkat got up and strided to the door, nearly ripping it off its hinges as he glared at his older brother. The other was already dressed in his same day apparel, a bright red sweater and dark jeans with matching sneakers. His arms were crossed and he regarded Karkat with the utmost of annoyance.

"If you say one more fucking word, I will kick your ass all the way to Shangri-bullshit-La and back, understand?"

Kankri merely raised a brow and walked away, leaving his younger brother to mutter threats under his breath before he waltzed into the bathroom.

**(Karkat's POV)**

I honestly can't _stand _my fucking brother. He never knows how to shut up when I want him to and always has these long ass lectures that go on and on. Dammit, it's like he never has an off switch. I walked into the bathroom, slamming the door shut and angrily grabbing my toothbrush.

While I brushed my teeth, I looked into the mirror. I honestly can't stand how I look, pale skin and dark ass hair that make my eyes and freckles pop out even more. Like I honestly need anymore attention. Kankri however, learned to embrace it and seems proud with the way he looks. That is literally the only thing I can say I admire about that asshole. After I finished up in the bathroom and left it with a towel around my waist, quickly dashing to my room before Kankri could reach me.

"Alright now what to wear..."

I thought about for a bit but then went 'Screw it' and picked out my usual black sweater with the cancer sign on it and gray jeans. Slipping on my sneakers and grabbing my shit, I walk downstairs where, surprise, surprise, _he's_ waiting for me. I hate that condescending look he always seems to give me whenever I'm around. I mean, I get it since Dad isn't around much cause of his work, Kankri has to take on those duties but still, does that give him a right to be so rude? No, I didn't think so.

"Well you seem to have taken much less time with your morning procedures. That's good, now you can have breakfast-"

"I'm not hungry."

"Are you serious? You need to eat something Karkat. I will not let you skip breakfast."

"I said, I'm not hungry. Just let it be. I'll fucking eat something later in the day okay?"

He opened his mouth to say something but I think the look I gave him made him shut up. Thank god. He sighs and picks his backpack off the countertop, walking off to the front door. I followed soon after. It was pretty quiet for a bit which I was thankful for. But I guess all good things must come to an end or some shit like that because as soon as I took another step, Kankri started to speak. Again. And not only that, this time he's touching me.

"Oh look at that. Your hair is so disheveled, why couldn't you fix it correctly?"

"Oh. My. God. Please-"

"Karkat, your clothes are messy too. Why didn't you iron them-?"

"Shut the fuck up, you maggot infested shit monger!"

"Now Karkat, you know how I feel about your language. You are triggering me with such vulgar words, must I always warn you too-?"

And I proceeded to let out a rage yell that awoke half of the neighborhood. Ugh, it was going to be a long day...

**A/N: So yeah, this is the first chapter of my story. Hope it's good enough for a next chapter, I'll try to update every week or so :) **


	2. Debating

**A/N: Ooh, lookie here~! Another chapter I say. Well I guess that promise of once a week isn't true eh? Also, how do you even Sollux lisp? DX**

**(Kankri's POV)**

"And furthermore, I really wish you would check for any phrases that might be triggering to others. It is very rude and-"

"Kankri! We're at school now, so please stop talking."

I noticed Karkat giving me a fake smile, it was one of those that he normally gave me at home. As I recall, he said it was the face that said, 'I will murder you and toss your dead body in a river with a cement block chained to you.' Honestly, he really shouldn't be so angry all the time. It'll cause him so much more stress and he already has enough of that. I looked back over to Karkat to notice him leaving me to go into the high school. I let out a sigh and began my own descent when a hand had grabbed the collar of my sweater and yanked me back. A small yelp, which I wasn't very proud of, left my mouth.

"Hey, look at little Kankri. Still short as ever I see."

Ugh, I'd know that voice anywhere. I shifted back to see if my prediction was true and it unfortunately was. Cronus had gotten a hold of me. His smirk added expression to his features, a cigarette in between his lips and a hand dipped into that leather jacket of his. I couldn't stand the way he eyed me sometimes, like I was a piece of meat to be devoured. But then again, Cronus looked at everyone that way, so it was hard to tell. He decided then to invade my personal space even more by leaning in, I scoffed and pushed his face away roughly.

"Aww come on Vantas. Don't be that way. I'm just teasin' ya."

"I hardly find invading another's space and leaning in their face as teasing Cronus."

"Man, you know you want me. It's written all over your face."

I rolled my eyes and turned to walk away when I felt myself being tugged back. I grit my teeth and glared at Cronus who just raised his hands in mock defeat. I was about to give him a piece of my mind when I felt all the tugging on me disappear. Curiously, I looked back to see Meenah holding onto Cronus by the collar.

"You know, it ain't cool to be picking on a bro like that." She said, some irritation clearly leaking through.

"Well babe I was just relaxing when Kan over here came up and started making the moves on me."

My mouth literally dropped in surprise. I was merely minding my own business when he comes over and grabs my collar. How dare he accuse me of something like that? Why that liar!

"Cronus! You know that story you're telling isn't the truth." I said, a slight growl in my tone.

"Relax guppie. I know it ain't true, like anyone would wanna get into his pants."

I actually smiled a bit in satisfaction when he glanced at Meenah with a look of hurt and shock. Ah, the sight of a shattered ego. He grumbled and kicked at the floor before slithering anyway. Yes, I said slither. He is very slimy, much like a serpent. Meenah chuckled and patted my back, following after him. With a shake of my head, I decided to get inside. Of course, another person would snag me away. I groaned, becoming somewhat annoyed with this. I shook myself from their grip, ready to deliver the speech of a lifetime when I saw who it was .

"Getting ready to lecture me now too Kanny?"

The breath I held to speak was let out noisily as I managed to relax.

"Porrim. I should've known it was you."

"Hehe, but you didn't. So what have you been up to? You know besides being you."

"Well I was nearly harassed by Cronus, does that count as something else?"

She shook her head with a laugh and took my hand, guiding me through the crowd and making our way to our lockers. She'd glare at anyone who would stare at me strangely. I always did get strange looks cause of the stark difference between my skin, hair and eyes. But Porrim was there to stand up for me and keep the teasing and insults away, much to my dismay. She is kind and very much like a mother to me more than Karkat. After we reached our destination, she decided to bombard me with the usual questions.

"So how's Karkat doing?"

"He's doing fine. A bit stubborn and hesitant to allow me to help him, but I think I'll get through to him one day."

Porrim regarded me with a worried look, "Kanny, now I know you care very much for your brother. But don't you think you could…I don't know, tone it down just a bit. You're coming off as clingy to him or annoying at least."

"And how do you know that?"

"Well since you bother him for hours and hours on end, never thinking, 'Hey, maybe I should leave him be.' I suppose that'd be a great conclusion."

I scowled and glared at the ground. I was not that bad and if Karkat didn't say anything or at least give me a hint, then I'll assume that he's fine with it. And not listen to Porrim and her theories. She flicked me on my head when I had thought that, giving me a face that was a cross between motherly concern and anger. I sighed and gave her my attention once more.

"Kanny, I'm serious. At least hear me out when I say that I'm just looking out for you two. I don't want there to be any tension between you and Karkat. I know that you're scared to death of doing something or saying something that might make him hate you. But if you continue to coddle him like he's 7 again, you will lose him."

My angered mood went away immediately and my shoulders drooped with realization. She was right. I was treating him like he was a child too much. Darn her for making so much sense. I guess even non-mothers know best. Perhaps I should give Karkat some space later but now I want to be nice and not high and mighty anymore. I'll try it out on him as soon as I get the chance.

**(Regular POV)**

Kankri smiled, satisfied with his decision and strode with Porrim to their class. Meanwhile on the other side of town, Karkat was growling words to himself on the way to class. Gamzee and Sollux were on each of his sides, sparing curious glances to each other and trying to think of what exactly to say to their friend that won't unleash a rage festival on their asses.

"I can't believe he could just go on and on about how I dress and look and talk and AAAHH! I can't stand how he does that sometimes."

"But bro, I'm sure he's worried about ya'll well being yeah? Give him a chance and maybe he'll turn right the motherfuck around."

"Psh, yeah that'll happen."

"Kk, juth relax. Tho your brother ith bugging you a lot. He'th probably just being a worrywart cause of how many thupid thituationth you get into."

"Ahaha, 'thut up thollux'." Karkat bit back, mocking his lisp.

Sollux merely scowling and rolled his eyes from underneath his red and blue glasses. He and Gamzee were both very used to the temper tantrums their friend had always seemed to display. Karkat would be fine, he just needed to let out some steam and then he'd be fine. At least they hoped so, since the smaller male continued to grumble to himself. Gamzee decided to take the bull by the horns and tap his best friend on the shoulder. This received a heated glare by the crabby teen to which Gamzee gave his one of his trademark smiles.

"Come on best friend, get your motherfucking chill on."

"Why the grub stomping fuck would I want to relax? Do you not see what I'm going through?"

"I'm not too sure what I'm all up and needing to be getting my peep at."

A sigh. "Of course you don't understand. Your brain is too baked up with that poison of yours to even comprehend a single sentence I'm saying."

"Haha, yeah. But you know, you should give Kanbro a chance. I mean, he's probably in your business cause he's all wanting to be a good role model."

"A good role model? Are you serious right now?"

Gamzee grinned and patted Sollux's shoulder, signaling him to talk next.

"Yeah kk. Remember, your dad ith way too contherned with work to be around you much. So thop being thuch a tightath and let the dude do what he feelth ith right."

Karkat wanted to argue with them but he didn't know what to say anymore. In a way, he did know that his older brother did want to look out for him. He just wished that the guy wouldn't dote on him every minute of his life. He shook his head in defeat and walked off to class to continue their day.

~.~.~.~.~

"I never thought school could be so boring."

Karkat sighed as the final bell rung and he weaved his way through the crowds of kids and kept to himself when one of them would purposely bump into him. He knew he'd have to face Kankri again when he walked outside but he debated on whether it was a good idea or not. Although, he didn't have to worry much when he opened the front school doors.

It was raining quite heavily and kids were dashing through the weather to their cars or buses. As Karkat glanced around, he noticed that Kankri was nowhere to be found which struck as weird to the younger. On one hand, he could walk home and not hear the miles of speech but on the other, he could wait and see just in case. But his 'won't-take-that-shit' side managed to make him move and venture on his house. He groaned audibly when he took notice that he didn't even have an umbrella. But he pressed on and walked, blinking away the water that splashed in his eyes and shoving his hands into his pockets.

He almost let his mind wander if not for the sound of feet slapping against wet concrete. It was probably Kankri trying to catch up to him but when he turned around, he knew just how wrong he was.

**Blah, another chapter is finished. I wonder what Karkat saw. Meh, you'll find out soon. Did I do Sollux's lisp okay? Is it okay to read? Ah well. **


	3. Make Him Pay

**A/N: Of course my computer would die and make me leave this story that I just began for 3 months. Ugh, I freaking hate that. But here I am with a new chapter. It's short but it should help me get back up to speed in updating this ^^**

**Regular POV**

Karkat scowled as he turned to face the people who had taken place behind him.

Vriska Serket and her gang stood not too far behind the male, smirks on each of their faces as they closed in on him. Though Karkat isn't exactly that provoking to the group, they had decided, or more rather, Vriska had decided to target Karkat mainly because he chose to defend an introverted friend of Gamzee's. He had stepped between her and him when she got tot got too close and the other seemed as though he'd die just from seeing her. Since then, she had made an effort to make a little part of his life miserable.

"Heeeeeeeey Karkat. How are you doing today?"

Did he mention how much he despised the way she seemed to lengthen her letters? Oh yes, he had a strong hatred for that.

"Well I'm in the fucking rain and trying to walk home. But a certain bitch and her gang are stopping me from that." He hissed out venoumously.

One person from the gang took a step forward at his remark but Vriska stuck up her hand to stop him. She still carried that condescending smirk as though she knew everything and could do what she felt like. A chuckle left her as she slowly made her way to Karkat who stiffened up and adjusted his bag, ready to fight if needed.

"Now Karkat, you shouldn't be so harsh to us. We're just worried about your well being, I mean is that so bad?"

"Uh yes? Yes it is. I'm not in the mood to deal with your bullshit today. So leave me alone."

He turned around to leave but a hand on his shoulder made him stop. It harshly spun him back to face a scowling face. The smirk had been completely wiped off and she only showed violent intentions in her body language. She may have had a couple feet over him but he was stronger. Though he disapproved of it, he wasn't afraid to hit a girl. Especially one so deserving of a hit like her.

"I would watch your mouth crab boy. You don't want to get too hurt, now do you~?"

He shrugged out of her touch with a look of disgust. His eyes flickered behind her to see her gang closing in and debated on whether he should run off or not.

"Oh yeah. I'm so afraid."

**Karkat's POV**

Man, I really do need to learn to shut my mouth when I face shit like this. It's going to make me lose a couple of teeth and land me in the hospital in the future.

I sighed and glanced behind Vriska again to see those guys getting closer, moving all around until I was surrounded. Great, now I'm caged in and I can't get out. Why can't she just leave me alone and get on with her life? Apparently, that's never going to happen and adds more to the reason of why life hates me. I looked up at Vriska who was smirking again and grabbed the collar of my shirt, pulling me up to her face. Her eyes were filled with sadistic glee as she tossed me back and made me fall on my ass.

Taking a step back, she snapped her fingers and the group closed in, "Make him pay guys."

All I could feel from then on was just in the simplest word, pain. Those assholes just kept kicking me and punching me. I moved my arms to shield my face from the most damage but when I did, they kick me harshly in the stomach and knock the air out of me. I could feel the bruises forming on my sides and my face and the scrapes from when they'd made me drag myself across the wet concrete. The rain just kept falling, never stopping and just kept going. Just like these guys and their beatings and Vriska and her smug smirk. I didn't even bother fighting back anymore, I just laid there and let them go on until they got sick of it.

Eventually Vriska raised her hand and yelled out, making the gang back off. I didn't move at all still, my eyes catching sight of Vriska approaching once more, kneeling over me and flicking my nose. Gee thanks, as if I wasn't I enough pain.

"Good to see you know your place Karkat~ On the ground below everyone."

"Shut the fuck up.."

I growled and spit some of the blood in my mouth at her. It hit her in the cheek but didn't stay for long because the rain washed it away. But it was enough to piss her off. She threw a punch and hit me across the jaw, making me see stars for a bit. Immediately she stood up, wiping her cheek and kicking me in the side. After that, she cursed at me and left, her gang laughing and yelling insults at me as they slunk away.

I just stared at the sky, narrowing my eyes at the rain that hit my face. I didn't mind though, it was cold and soothing to the bruises and cuts that covered my body. But eventually I had to get up. I hissed at the slightest bit of movement but braved it and stood up, holding my side. Limping my way over to my bag, I picked it up and sluggishly made my way home.

I know when I got home, Kankri would see this and give me hell. And I wasn't looking forward to that at all.


	4. I Will Protect You

**Karkat's POV**

Another groan left me as I pushed the door open and trudged into my house, slamming the door behind me. Slowly but surely, I made my way to the living room and tossed my backpack on the couch and hissed at the pain of moving my arms. I looked around when I didn't hear the sound of footsteps and let out a sigh of relief. But as always, I was wrong and I hear a voice speaking from the top of the stairs.

"Karkat? Is that you?"

No shit, who would it be? That's what I would've replied with if I could gain the energy too. I wondered if I had the ability to hide before he came downstairs and- ah damn, there he is.

"Karkat! W-What happened to you?"

He ran up to me, worry clear in his eyes as he rested a hand on my shoulder and lifted up the bottom of my sweater to look me over. I hissed in slight pain as he turned me around and caught him biting his lip, a sign of him being nervous and angry.

"Who did this to you? I demand to know who."

I just sighed and did my best to wiggle him off because I wasn't in the mood or condition to deal with him. I tried to step around him but he got in the way again and took a hold of my wrist, dragging me to the couch and sitting me down. I opened my mouth to tell him I didn't need any help but he didn't give me the chance before he ran off to find the first aid kit.

"Ugh..why can't I get a break?" I groaned out.

Kankri eventually came back, sitting by me and politely yet hastily asking me to take off my sweater. I obliged and the minute I took it off, he was all over me. I tried to ignore him as he muttered threats and cleaned up the cuts and examined my bruises. He looked at my head to see if I had any injuries there and did some damn test to see if I had a concussion too which I know I didn't but he was a worrywart and a meddler.

"Well you seem to be alright now," he said as he finished bandaging me up, "however I am still concerned as to how you attained those injuries."

"It's nothing Kan-"

"Don't tell me it's nothing Karkat." he snapped at me.

I raised a brow and looked over at him in surprise. Well then, I wasn't expecting him to get all pissed off but I guess today is just full of rewards, isn't it?

"It was Vriska and her group okay? They beat me up after I got a little smart with them but hey, they were going to do it anyway."

Kankri was silent for a while when I said that and I looked over at him in curiosity.

**Kankri's POV **

I'm not one to get angry. It's not in my nature to feel any animosity or ill will towards anyone. That's my belief and how I felt I was raised. However, when Karkat had explained to me that he was assaulted by someone, be it Vriska or her gang or them both, I felt a surge of pure anger rush through me. I wanted to go out and find her and give her what for. But violence can never be solved with violence as it would only lead to fights and more struggles. But there was another emotion involved in that whirlwind of rage.

It was guilt.

I felt guilty because I had chosen to go ahead and walk home without him as it seemed to be the best way to give him space and satisfy him if only for a little. But oh, how wrong I was. Instead of returning home safely and grumpy as usual, he came home injured and dazed. I'd just love to stay by his side every day and walk home with him and watch out for that gang. But I'd come off as too overbearing and I wouldn't want that. So I allowed myself to sigh and place a small kiss to his forehead. It was a habit I did at times when I wanted to help but couldn't. He growled a little but otherwise accepted it, more than used to it by now.

"I see. If that is the case, then I simply must warn you to head straight home."

"You didn't think I was doing that, oh-wise-brother-of-mine? Of course I tried to walk home but I could feel her and her gang following me. Running would just cause more pain."

I bit my lip and looked at the floor.

"Be glad I came home at all and didn't lie on the concrete and pray to whatever entity is out there for a swift death or some shit."

I glanced back up at him, taking notice of how he already was looking at me. He could always sense when I was troubled as was the same with me and him.

"Karkat, I do not want you hurt or anything. I have no choice but to walk home with you if this should continue."

"What? No way! And give them more reasons to mock me?"

I frowned at that. I knew he was going to react in such a manner.

"But I cannot allow such an atrocity to reproach you once more. It wouldn't be fair and I'm already feeling guilty for leaving you behind.."

"Hey, it's not like any of this was your fault. If anything, I'm glad you didn't get caught in the crossfire or anything." He replied with a shrug.

I scoffed. "I can take care of myself, thank you very much."

He rolled his eyes, "Always doting on others but not wanting the same back."

We sat in a comfortable silence for a bit before Karkat rose up with a light grunt. I stood up after him, raising a hand to help but he stopped me quickly and gave me a look.

"I'm fine. I can take myself upstairs okay?"

He didn't give me a chance to protest or answer as he was already headed for the stairs. I sighed once more and plopped back on the couch just as the footsteps ascended the stairs. Staring at the ceiling, I contemplated my day, Porrim's warnings and Karkat's bullying situation.

"Oh, what am I going to do?"

* * *

Karkat had spent the rest of the day holed up in his room. No doubt he was scowling or resting, perhaps even both. I sat on the couch, cuddled up in a blanket and my pajamas watching some romance movie that I caught my eye. The door had opened again and I spared a glance to see who it was.

It was our dad, trudging slowly through the door and shutting it behind him. He allowed a mix of a sigh and a groan to escape him as he made his way to the other couch, falling into it with such exhaustion. Then again, that was the case. Our dad worked for long hours at a time, almost 19 or so before he slunk into the house while I took care of Karkat and watched over him. Neither of us hated him or bore resentment towards him because it wasn't his fault. He had to work in order for us to stay in this house even though I offered to help and he politely denied. He was a kind man who suffered for most of his time these days. His eyes were closed and he breathed quite slowly. Poor thing fell asleep on the couch, so I moved over to him to gently shake him awake. He snorted and looked blearily at me, registering who I was.

"Oh. Hello Kankri, how are you, my son?" He smiled weakly.

I gave him my own smile, patting his shoulder and nodding to his room. He seemed to comprehend and sluggishly rose up, walking to his room and offering a gentle goodnight to me as he shut his door. I looked up at the clock above our television and saw that it was quite late. With a stretch, I turned off the television and retreated to my own room. Falling onto the bed and snuggling cozily in my blankets, I gave one last thought to Karkat and his troubles before settling into a dreamless sleep.

_'I will keep him safe no matter the consequence.'_


	5. Watch Over

**Regular POV **

The next day had soon approached and the two males were already up and about. Though one of them was reluctant to even get out of the bed let alone sit downstairs. Karkat was sipping at his orange juice, muttering to himself of ways to get away from here and not go to school. He could skip or fake being sick, hell he could say his ribs still hurt and he just wanted to lie down for the day. But Kankri could read him and knew Karkat was going to fake his way through the day. He told his younger brother to go to school however he'd keep a close eye on him from afar lest there be more beatings to happen. Kankri strode to the kitchen, nursing a cup of coffee and a concerned expression as he glanced at Karkat.

Of course the shorter would be upset by this and announce his displeasure.

"What? What are you staring at?"

"I'm just...still tired. Had a bad nightmare and such."

Karkat raised a brow but left well enough alone. He'd get some peace at his home if he couldn't get such at school. Soon the brothers had finished up and were out the door and off to school. Kankri walked behind, watching the streets for any signs of the gang or any danger. He may just be paranoid and too worrisome but he didn't care. As long as his brother was safe, it didn't matter if he seemed like a creepy stalker.

When they reached the school, Karkat had managed to escape Kankri's watch and went to his friends like he did every morning. The red sweater other heaved a sigh and decided to head into the building but an arm around his shoulders disrupted his walk. He jumped, obviously startled by the unexpected touching and turned his head. Immediately his eyes met a cocky pair of blue ones and he scoffed, trying to move away.

"Cronus. I have no tolerance for you today."

"Aw come on chief, I ain't gonna do anything to you today."

"Then explain your arm around me."

"I greet people like that sometimes."

"You should learn," he pried the arm off, "to keep your hands to yourself."

He let it fall to the leather clad male's side and walked off in a huff. But of course, Cronus was persistant and proceeded to follow him. Speeding up to his pace and frowning a bit at the other's annoyed attitude, he decided to turn off the cocky greaser attitude and spoke in a more softer manner.

"Kankri, come on. We were friends back in the day, can you at least tell me what's bugging you?"

A small smile quirked at Kankri's lips at how his old friend had spoken. He had a slight speech impediment that made his w's sound as though there was a v before them or vice versa. He hummed in thought, debating on whether it was a good idea to speak to him.

"Well, my little brother is going through a crisis at the moment and I want to know the best way to approach the problem without making it seem like I'm.."

"Butting into his life?"

"Well that's one way of saying it."

"Listen Kan, if your brother's so reluctant for you to help, don't help."

That made him turn to face the Ampora, "Are you crazy? I will NOT allow that to happen."

"Whoa chief, relax okay? What I'm saying is that you can't help someone who doesn't need help. You can spend your whole life tryin' to help but if they don't want it, you're wasting your breath and time."

Kankri's shoulder slumped at that.

_'Damn it, of all times for him to be wise, why did he choose now?'_

He groaned and continued onto his class, tailed by the greaser. Even if Karkat didn't need help, he can't help but want to do it even without recommendation from him.

**Karkat's POV **

"Yo Karbro, you doing a'ight? You don't look too motherfucking good right now."

I raised my head from the desk, directing my glare at my supposed best friend. Though it softened up a bit as I saw he had stopped smiling and was watching me with a worried look.

God, why is everyone looking at me like that?

"Because ya'll are looking a bit under the weather and you got bruises on you too."

Shit, I said that out loud and he fucking noticed my bandages. What a way to start off the morning. With people who probably wanted to coddle the hell out of me and pat my head and whisper words of 'it's okay' and 'what's wrong?' I really don't want any of that raucous noise in my business today, I really don't. So I scowled and sat up to look at Gamzee.

"Yes. I hurt myself yesterday at home, that's it."

"A brother be hearing some lies escaping you."

I furrowed my brows and looked at him, "How do you know I'm lying?"

"I didn't. You just got to motherfucking telling me."

Did I just fall for the oldest goddamn trick in the book? I think I did, fuck me.

I shook my head and moved to put my head down. But Gamzee must have been partly sober or just really curious today because he refused to let me be and continued to bother me. He poked me and spoke in that annoying whining voice people use to irritate the information out of others. I wouldn't budge for about 20 minutes before I sat up quick as lightning and snarling at him.

"What the pus-spewing fuck do you want, you shit bagging, globe-fondling pain in the ass?!"

Gamzee leaned back in his seat at my outburst and grinned widely at me, knowing that now I would talk to him.

The smug asshole.

"Good to see a motherfucker seeming compliant now." He nudged his side. "Come on Karkat, please tell me?"

I sighed. "Fine. If it'll get you to leave me alone, I'll tell you. Vriska happened okay? She and her gang beat me up yesterday."

It was quiet for a bit between us, though the rest of the class kept chattering away. I chanced a look at my friend and his reaction was how I expected. His fists were clenched sort of and he was pursing his lips, a sign that showed he wanted to knock someone out. When it came to my being in danger, Gamzee would switch off that idiotic, high personality to a more serious and violent personality. Though that personality was nothing compared to his full on sobriety attitude, complete with lashing out and a lust for death. I kind of wanted to see Vriska get knocked off her high horse but I didn't want her in the hospital and judging my Gamzee's body language, silence and the ever so often glances at my bruises, he was ready to haul ass and destroy shit.

"Gamzee, it's fine. I'm not in the hospital or anything, just a couple injuries that will heal in a week or less."

"Ain't no one gonna get to beating up my best friend and expect no righteous attacks back on them."

"Gamzee."

"Where does she go to class?"

"Gamzee."

"Is she gonna try to motherfucking get you again?"

I stayed silent at that as he had told me that. I wondered if she really would try to come after me again. I did not want to be a human punching bag again after I just got done with that yesterday.

"Well I don't know for sure."

"If that's what might be happening then I'm gonna walk ya'll home. A'ight?"

There was no saying otherwise, he looked determinated as hell. So I sighed again and nodded in agreement. Gamzee seemed content and relaxed his posture, letting himself grin again as he pat my back. Though I didn't admit it, I was happy about that as well. Just hoped Kankri would back off though, it'll do us both some good.

**Regular POV**

The bell rang and students shuffled out of the classrooms, striding through the halls and eagerly escaping the school. Kankri and Porrim were already outside, the former staring at the exiting crowd intently while the latter tugged at his arm to leave.

"Kanny, will you please relax for a moment? You're all jittery and edgy."

"It's not my fault, I'm just too uneasy."

"Well you shouldn't be. Why don't you walk with me? It might be a nice way to clear your head and take your mind off this nonsense."

"He is being-"

"Watched over by his friend."

"What?" He turned around, glancing through the hordes of teenagers and seeing Karkat walking off with Gamzee. Normally the taller male would part ways with his friend at the entrance of the school but he went the same way as Karkat and peered over his shoulder cautiously.

"So Karkat told him I see."

"Yes he did. So now you can stop growing gray hairs and walk with me so we can chat and stuff"

He groaned as he allowed himself to be pulled in the opposite direction, but he spared a glance at his brother's retreating back and hoped that Gamzee would be enough protection for him.


	6. Had Enough

"Gamzee, I swear if you try to tell one more joke...I will rage roundhouse kick you in that ugly caked up mug of yours."

"Honk."

They were almost there, Karkat's house being three or so streets away. The two had spent the majority of the time chatting and the shorter having to listen to his friend's incessant jokes and prattling on about miracles and the like. It almost seemed like they'd make it but an unwanted voice said differently.

"Well well, it seems the little baby got a bodyguard."

Karkat stiffened up, lips pressed together as he stopped walking and all sources of mirth or joking immediately left Gamzee's face as he turned around to face Vriska. Her arms were crossed and that smug smirk decorated her face. Her gang, like always, loomed behind her with cocky grins and fingers twitching in anticipation to fight. Vriska took a step forward, sizing up the two.

"Nice to know you're soooooooo scared that you had to get your druggie friend to protect you. Real brave of you."

"Oh and I suppose picking on those who seem to show a spark of bravery towards you is real brave also." Karkat bit at her.

She frowned, hatred burning in her eyes before she snapped her fingers and her goons had stepped forward, chuckling darkly.

"You guys take the clown. I'll get the crab."

She advanced towards Karkat who was immediately blocked by a stone faced Gamzee. He growled lowly as he looked down at her and cracked his knuckles.

"Why don't you go be a favor and back off? Don't wanna motherfucking mess up that pretty face of yours."

"Hah! As you could hurt me."

"Wanna bet motherfucker?"

She laughed mockingly at him as one of the guys snuck up behind the two males and grabbed Gamzee's shoulder, tugging him away from Karkat and into the circle of men awaiting him. The other made a noise of surprise and moved to go help his friend but Vriska shoved him in the shoulder with a cackle.

"What's the matter Karkat? Afraid to get beat by a girl?"

"No I'm not. I just don't like being trapped by a bitch, thank you."

She hissed and grabbed onto his shoulders, tugging him down to knee him in the nose. A sickening crack let him know that it was broken and he hissed a sharp curse as he pushed away from her, cradling his nose. Gamzee was punching the guys left and right, smirking when he heard a sound of agony from one he'd injured too badly. He looked over to see Vriska approaching his friend who had his arms in front of him, acting as a shield and an effort to hold back. Gamzee frowned at that because he knew that even though Karkat would hit a girl if they deserved it, he still hesitated at times. Which is what he was doing now and it made Gamzee want to destroy everything and everyone who dared block his path.

"Come ooooooooon Karkat, aren't you going to hit me? What are you afraid of?"

"Not you. But I still don't want to hit you."

Vriska sneered, eyes showing that same malice that she demonstrated to those who would dare face her or shown any trace of weakness. It was cold and calculating and sent shivers down the male's spine. A sharp pain registered on his face as he felt Vriska rake her nails across his cheek and toss a punch at his face. He yelped and pounced back but the girl was unwilling to allow his escape. She continued to advance and he continued to block.

Gamzee was knocking out the men left and right, his teeth grit as he held in his inner rage and tried to get rid of them as quick as possible. One of the men had grown quite afraid when they caught sight of the juggalo's fiery eyes and reached for a glass bottle on the street left by a careless passerby. Sneaking up on the clown, the man lifted the glass and brung it down harshly on the back of Gamzee's head, making him yelp in pain before falling to the ground, lingering on the line between conscious and unconscious. The men who were still fine had chuckled and circled him, ready to beat him into the concrete.

Karkat had chosen that moment to glance over and let a gasp escape him as he took in the sight of his fallen friend. Vriska shoved his shoulder to bring his attention back to her.

She cackled, "Aw, are you worried about your friend? Don't worry, I'll make sure the guys don't hurt him _too_ much."

A feeling had bubbled up in Karkat's throat as he looked back at her, eyes gleaming with a new emotion and no sign of the previous hesitation and fear he once had. The girl raised her brows at this but shrugged it off and taunted him again, throwing a punch at him that he caught instantly. He bared his teeth and his brows furrowed as he lowered his head, gaining a sense of predatory anger.

"Listen Vriska," he spat, "you can do a ton of shit to me. But the minute you include anybody elsem especially the ones I give a shit about, you have to face me. And I decide that I'm not going to be your chew toy anymore."

With that, he formed his own fist and it flew through the air and made direct contact with her nose, making an audible crack that made her scream. She covered her nose, eyes wide as she stepped back and her gang stopped their assault to look at their leader. He took another step forward and shoved her onto her rear. She had to look up at the male who bore such intense anger and hatred in his small body that it threatened to destroy them all. He growled and hissed his next sentence at her and the gang.

"If I catch you bulgewhiffing asswipes coming after me again. In fact, I catch you picking on anyone again, you'll deal with me. Is your life really that worthless and pathetic that your miniscule forms can't do anything else but prey on others? Will you realize that when you fuck with the wrong person and get shot out in some remote place in the middle of nowhere?"

Silence was his answer.

"THEN GET THE FUCK OF HERE IF YOU HAVE NOTHING ELSE TO SAY YOU SHITSPONGES!"

The yelling made them all wince and though they were many, his anger clearly outmatched them and crushed any determination or malevolence they felt. So they helped Vriska up and slunk away. Karkat let out a sigh that cleared his head and wrath and made him direct his focus to his friend who was waking up with a groan.

"Motherfuck...that was all kinds unmiraculous, knocking a brother out with that glass shit..."

"Your fault for turning your back on them for two long idiot."

He looked up to spot his friend, looking at him with a scowl laced in concern as knelt down. His fingers lingered on the back of his head, making the taller hum as he was checked for injuries. Karkat sighed as he found none and sat on the sidewalk refusing to move as the sky began to grow darker.

He didn't care at the moment that his brother might be home.

All that mattered at the time was that he could now walk the street safely and that he's okay now.

He's okay...

**A/N: Yay, Karkat's undeniably frightening rage has saved him and Gamz. But this story isn't over just yet, there will be more drama to ensue in this tale whether it is needed or not. I'll give you a hint however as narrow-minded as it may be. It has to do with a certain meddler. ;)**

**See you next chapter~!**


	7. Louder Than Thunder

**Kankri's POV**

Where was he? He was supposed to be here HOURS before I was, so why isn't he here?

I was quite literally the definition of on edge today, pacing around the couch and biting my lip. My hands were clasped together, squeezing tightly as though it would reassure me. It did for a couple moments before I saw that my younger brother wasn't here and the anxiety came back full force. I didn't know what to do, I tried calling him but he didn't pick up and I stood outside even when the rain had come just as it did the last time Karkat was injured. He still wasn't there. And I wasn't getting any better with the passing time.

"Oh please..let those two be alright. Especially Karkat.."

This was like some sick joke.

A practical humorous attempt to make me lose myself and tear this house apart.

But my father had come early for the first time in a while and was resting peacefully in his room. Throwing tables and smashing china didn't seem like the mature or logical thing to do at the moment even if the feeling was there. So I settled on being similar to an impatient, worrisome mother and muttered to myself as I strode around the couch.

The click of the door finally pushed me out of my thoughts and I quickly forgo any other plannings as I sped over to the sound. Karkat walked inside, not limping thankfully but sporting a bruise and a broken nose which still bled profusely though it must have been quite some time before he came home. I pursed my lips and kept from speaking up and triggering him too much. However I still reached out to brush my fingers across his bruised cheek. He retracted not even a few seconds after that.

"Don't."

"Karkat, are you alright? I am glad to see that you are not in such a bad condition as before."

"Yeah we ran into her and her gang again and they kind of got the upper hand until one of those shitmaggots went too far and I blew a fuse."

"You spoke with them? Did Gamzee keep you safe?"

"He tried but-"

"He tried?"

"He got hit in the back of the head with a goddamn glass bottle Kankri. Give him a break."

I nodded, "I see. Well, it's good that you are not too much in harm."

He shrugged and waved me off as he headed for the stairs again. I followed him upstairs of course, dead set on fixing him up again. He sighed as he reached the top of the steps and turned to face me with a look between exhaustion and annoyance. He probably wasn't in the mood to face me right now. And a small portion of me had wanted to leave him be. But I wanted to be a good sibling and help, so I ignored that portion.

"Kankri. Just leave me alone. I'm fine."

"But Karkat, you are still hurt and I need to make sure your nose isn't broken or-"

"It's fine Kankri. I can worry about that act of concerning duties and business tomorrow or later when I don't feel tired."

"But now would be a good time to-"

"I don't need your help."

"Please stop interrupting me and let me get a say in-"

"You don't need a say. I don't need your help, I'm perfectly fine, broken nose or whatever. I can take care of it later and I don't need doting brothers on my ass."

I frowned at that and stared at his nose again which still bled and he must have seen me because he immediately lifted a sleeve to wipe away the blood with a scowl. I just wanted to help him and he never allowed me. So I ignored him this time and took a step forward, reaching for his sleeve and tugging him close to take a closer look. He drew back with accurate speed, face showing his clear distaste in me being near him and turned his back to me. I huffed and narrowed my eyes. This was so like him. Every sine we were children, he'd never allow me the chance of providing a service to him or comforting him or doing anything relatable to him. He strayed further and further from me each year and it made me feel terrible. Like I couldn't do anything for him.

"Karkat, that is so unfair of you. I always try as hard as I can to help you and comfort you but you always push me away. What did I do to deserve such a thing? Are you really so uptight and barricaded that you have to constantly keep up a cautious and irritated front with me? You never allow me the information of knowing things like you had bullies who taunted and harmed you. You never let me know how you feel or any of those things. The level of immaturity in you is so unbelievable at times. You cannot chase away your earnest pride for a measly few minutes to allow your older brother comfort? That's kind of triggering in its own way when someone feels as though they cannot help the one that they care about. It's terrible and I wish you would ju-"

"SHUT THE HELL UP!"

I froze mid-sentence, words dying on my lips as my eyes widened slightly in surprise. Karkat never snapped at me before like that. The whole time I spoke, I never looked at his body language or saw the oncoming wrath until it was too late. I was too late to realize my mistake that I went too far. He clenched his fists, turning back to me with a sharp growl. His normally pale face was bright red with fury as he took a step towards me.

"K-Karkat I-"

"NO. YOU'RE GOING TO SHUT UP AND LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE."

I couldn't speak anymore. Only just stand there and listen to him unleash his rage.

"You always blabber on about how I'm so childish and that ignorant shit that spouts from your never ending blowhole. You act too grown up for your damn age, you didn't even give yourself the chance of enjoying your life. You didn't need to get all fucking up close and personal with me and left well enough alone but no, you had to keep bugging me. You constantly get in my face and touch me and dote on me and treat me like a child and I'm sick of it! I'm 16 fucking years old and don't need to tolerate your stupid bull anymore. If you think I'm so and so all the damn time then why not just leave me the fuck alone?! Who the hell do you actually think you are? Dad? Mom? Some other full grown parental figure? NO, YOU'RE JUST A SELF-RIGHTEOUS, CONDESCENDING TWAT OF A BROTHER WHO THINKS HE'S BETTER THAN ME."

I felt my heart tighten painfully as he continued to speak and assault me with his words. My head lowered until my bangs had covered my eyes. It did me a favor, I didn't want to look at him and see his hatred. And I didn't want him to see me cry.

"I think it's time we put a stop to this_ relationship_ we have going on right here, right now!"

The way he spat out the words with such animosity and venom. It crushed me. I shook my head slowly, not wanting to hear anymore but I couldn't move. It was like my body wanted me to stay here and endure those sharp blades Karkat perceived as words.

"I'm going to spend a few days with some of my other friends. Hell, maybe I'll move out or some shit to get you off my back. I'll keep to myself and take care of my own self. And you. I don't need you anymore okay?!"

"Karkat..."

"I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOUR FACE AGAIN."

That was it.

I felt my entire being go cold, every available emotion drifting out of my body until I was left with a cold hollow, and empty feeling.

And I deserved it.

I did this to him. To us. I pushed him away.

He deserved the title of older brother with how much of my troubles he puts up with. I bit my lip as the tears I tried to hold back begin to spill as I saw Karkat turn away with a scoff and walk to his room. He didn't hear my faltered, pained whispers. The tiny sound of his name leaving my lips as he continued to walk away and I felt all the things I had done for him since we were children become nothing but useless little nuisances. I reached out for him but I couldn't move.

The grief was too much for me..

Of all the things I could have been or had prepared for...

I wasn't prepared for this.

"Karkat..."

He didn't listen and continued his walk, back turned to me for probably what would be forever and I couldn't take that.

"Karkat?..."

He still didn't hear me.

I hadn't noticed my legs buckle or take in the fact that the whole dispute we had took place on the stairs and that I should have gotten off the steps and I certainly didn't see how I began to fall back or register the pain that ran through my body and head as I hit the steps and rolled agonizingly down the stairs until I hit the ground, falling on my back.

I didn't hear or even care anymore as I heard rapid footsteps and a yell that sounded suspiciously like my own name as everything grew black and dull and numb.

I lost my brother because I was too mature and I was too meddlesome.

I just...didn't care anymore.


	8. What Happened?

**A/N: I'm glad to be back and ugh, school was so bluh and I was so sleepy. Getting back into the swing of balancing school between doing what I love. Eh, it'll work out. Everything in italics is taking place inside of Kankri's mind. Please enjoy the chapter guys~!**

**Regular POV**

_There is only darkness. _

_It seems to be the only thing that registers in Kankri's mind as he wanders through his subconscious. _

"_Where am I? What happened?...Oh yes, Karkat told me he never wanted.."_

_His throat clenched tight, keeping him from finishing his sentence as his shoulders slump in utter defeat. He no longer had anymore motivation now that he had heard his younger brother display his feelings in such a manner. He reached up to wipe his eyes which had begun to brim with held in tears as he looks around. It was cold and lonely, like his soul and heart felt right about now. _

"_I suppose this is what I deserve.."_

_Just as he had begun to accept that he'd be alone in the deepest part of his mind, a light had begun to shine through the dark. He glanced in that direction, hesitation in his features before he started to walk towards it. A soft sound could be heard as he walked closer. _

'Is that crying?'

_Kankri frowned in worry and sped up his pace, the light growing larger and brighter until he was enveloped in it. Warmth seemed to surround him as he opened his eyes and was greeted with a sight for sore eyes. _

_His mother was standing there, crouched in front of two young children. They weren't any older than 4 to 7. One was quite short and bore an upset expression, cheeks rosy with frustration and stubbornness. The other was a bit taller and older, carrying a somber yet also adamant feature. They were whimpering to the woman, complaining and pointing at one another. _

"_But momma, he did it! He knocked over the vase cause he's a big stupid head.."_

"_Now Karkat, you should call your brother such names."_

"_But-!"_

"_Sweetie. Now I know it was you who did it because you chased him. Am I right?"_

"_I...yes.."_

"_And Kankri, I believe you started this by bothering him, right?"_

"_Yes mommy.."_

_She gave them both a serious look before sighing and smiling, her hands moving up to ruffle their hair. _

"_That's all I needed to know. Telling the truth is a good thing."_

"_It is?" Karkat questioned. _

"_Why yes. And fighting isn't good either. You should accept responsibility for what you do. It's a very good and brave thing to do." _

_Karkat grinned widely, suddenly proud of his admittance. _

"_Ha! Then I'm a really good boy! Better than Kankri!"_

"_Haha, why yes dear. You are."_

"_Hey!"_

_Karkat merely blew a raspberry in his older brother's direction and ran off with a mocking laugh. The other was about to whine and complain before his mother took a hold of his hand and pulled him to her. He gave her a confused look, gazing into her olive green eyes. _

"_Mama?"_

"_Kankri. My son, I want you to know something."_

"_Sure, you can tell me anything mommy!"_

"_Your brother is a stubborn one and can often get into troublesome situations. You know that as much as your father and I do. So I want you to take care of him when he can't do so himself. Be a good older brother and watch over him. Can you do that dear?" _

"_Yeah! I'll be a great big brother!" _

_She smiled softly, pulling the younger Kankri into a tight loving hug. The older Kankri was watching from a distance with foggy eyes, tears spilling over and dripping onto his sweater. As he stepped close, the memory faded away and turned to another memory. One that was horrific compared to the peaceful scene he once saw. _

_~.~.~.~.~_

_There was blood everywhere. Broken metal and glass lay strewn across the street, a horn blared into the night, screams filled the air. The sounds of concerned people surrounded the accident where two demolished cars were. A simple view that an accident had occurred. The ambulance's sirens rung in the air, the voices of the EMTs rushing around as gurneys were guiding an older man and a covered body into the vehicles while others surrounded a woman to help her onto the next gurney. _

"_MOMMY! NO MOMMY NO PLEASE!" _

"_MAMA!.."_

"_Oh god...Desiree! No please..no.."_

_The two boys' father reached out weakly as he was carted into the back of the ambulance. His eyes displayed the purest of regret and sorrow as the doors closed. _

_Karkat screamed and kicked, escaping the grip of a paramedic and ran over to his mother. She was lying on the gurney, breath escaping her in light, shallow gasps. The younger Kankri was already next to his mother, tears streaming down his pale face as he held onto her hand. Karkat pushed through the men and held onto her other hand with frantic eyes. She was bleeding heavily, glass in her wounds and a deep gash in her chest where a piece of the car once was. The boys were not injured much, just a couple scratches and bruises and maybe a concussion. _

"_Mommy.."_

"_Kankri, Karkat..I'm so sorry..I couldn't stay with you longer..." _

"_No mama, please don't go!" _

_She gave both her sons a weak smile, filled with all the tender love a mother could carry. She slowly reached up and brushed her hands gently across their cheeks as she let out a pained cough. _

"_I'm sorry...but remember, I'll always love you no matter w..hat.."_

_Her hands fell from their faces, hitting the concrete as her eyes closed and her breathing stopped. The men were already in motion, pushing her Karkat's eyes widened as Kankri's shoulders slumped, disbelief in his eyes._

"_Momma...Momma! MOMMA! NOO..!"_

_Karkat covered his face and let out heart wrenching sobs as the younger Kankri's lips quivered and he cried silently. _

_Kankri himself was covering his ears and closing his eyes, the memory was too much for him. The memory faded away into another. The reception room of the church where the funeral had happened. Karkat was sitting against a wall, head buried in his knees as he sobbed and whimpered. The smaller Kankri had wandered over to him, watching as he cried before a determined look entered his features. _

"_Karky?"_

_Said child raised his head, brows furrowed in anger at being disturbed while he grieved. The boy merely disregarded the look and spoke up._

"_I-I know mommy is gone now. But she's in a better place and watching over us! And also, you don't have to worry about being alone.."_

"_Why?.."_

"_Cause I'll take care of you! I'll be a big person and watch over us two and take good care of you. I'll be uh..mature! Yeah, I'm gonna be a mature person like mommy was!"_

_He crossed his arms with that same expression and Karkat watched on for a moment. Soon a small smile appeared and he broke out in a fit of giggles. The other frowned, his arms unlocking and falling to his sides as he stomped a foot._

"_What?"_

"_Hehehe! You're such a stupid person Kanky.."_

"_I am not!"_

"_Haha, okay! Then if you're for real, then I'm sure you'll be a good grown up!"_

"_That's right! I'll take care of us from now on~!"_

_Laughs filled the air and suddenly life had seemed more brighter. With that, that final memory faded off and Kankri was alone in the dark again. He lowered his eyes as he sighed wistfully._

"_It seems being mature has gotten me in nothing but more adolescent situations. I wish I was not this way, perhaps if I was more younger or acted so...Karkat would like me.."_

_He felt himself sink deeper into the darkness and closed his eyes, allowing it to surround him and seep into its cold comfort. As he closed his eyes, he heard a small giggle similar to him when he was a child. If he could be younger, he would and wanted to be so._

_He should be cautious as to such a wish._

_~.~.~.~.~_

**Karkat's POV**

I never wanted this.

Out of all the things that could happen that I'd want in my life, I didn't want this.

I was just so tired from all the crazy things that happened the past two days and I all I wanted to do was rest and forget all the damn troubles that hovered around my life. So when I came home, expecting a break and a chance to sleep, Kankri was already at the door. He bombarded me with questions and eyed me warily as I made my way upstairs. He tried to touch me too but I naturally moved away.

Even when I made my way up the stairs and begged me to answer him, I still kept myself wound up like a spring in action. I heaved a sigh as we reached the top and he tried to touch me again, speaking gently because he didn't want to upset me too much. But I still shrugged him off. Then he started to lecture me and talk about how immature I was and after all that stress that built up over all the chaos, I just blew up.

And now look where I was...

I sighed and squeezed his hand tightly, lowering my head and holding back tears because I didn't want to cry.

No...I didn't _deserve _to cry.

I surveyed the hospital room, seeing my dad on a chair not too far from me. His head rested on his hand, eyes closed as he slept. I couldn't blame him, he barely got any sleep before I had to be a total flatfooted dipshit and cause this whole dilemma. Then I stared at Porrim and Cronus who sat at a small little couch on the other side of the hospital bed. Cronus was also asleep, leaning against the couch, arms crossed and light snores coming from him. Porrim, on the other hand, was very much awake and watching Kankri with the careful intent of a mother hen. She nearly destroyed me, slapping me across the face with enough force and sound to make everyone within a 50 foot radius cringe, when I explained what had happened and yelling and screaming about how idiotic and cruel I was. How Kankri had nearly ran out of her house with how worried he was and how many times she talked him down to give me space. It took Cronus, Dad and two doctors to hold her back until she could relax. She always was very protective of Kankri.

God, I'm such a terrible human being.

I bit my lip and chanced a look at Porrim. She was looking at me as well, her eyes were less intense than earlier and more tired than anything.

"Porrim..."

"I'm sorry for hitting you Karkat..it was too rash of me.."

"No. I deserved it."

She opened her mouth to say more when a noise stopped us both in our tracks. Our eyes widened as we stared down at the stirring figure on the bed. Kankri's eyes squeezed tight for a moment before they slowly cracked open. A light groan escaped him as his eyes opened further to take in the sight of the room he was in. Cronus and dad had chosen that moment to wake up, bleary eyes soon registering Kankri being awake.

"Kankri? Aw shit chief, I'm so glad you're okay!"

"Are you feeling okay, Kanny? You're not too damaged, are you?"

"Son, are you in any pain or such?"

Kankri didn't answer. Instead, he just sat up and blinked, rubbing his eyes and mumbling quietly. We all just sat there and stared at him. I decided to speak up finally, squeezing his hand again and gaining his attention. His head turned to look at me, eyes wide with something that I never saw in him for years.

Was that...innocent childishness?

"Hey Kankri..um, you doing okay? Look, I just wanted to say...I'm sorry. What I said back there...it was really wrong.."

I lowered my eyes again, not finishing my sentence because of how guilty I really felt. Guess you never know the damage your anger can do until you're calm, have a clear head and see exactly what discord you caused. I felt a hand on my head soon enough, ruffling it with such a hesitant and amazed movement that I peered up to catch a glance at his face. He was pouting and bit his lip before speaking.

"Karky! Why are you so sad looking? And what do you mean by what you did?"

My eyebrows probably went past my hairline and through the roof, off into fucking space. He sounded way different than the Kankri we all know. He sounded more...younger and enthusiastic. Kind of like how he was when he was 7. I paused for a moment before I said anything else to him.

"Uh...Karky? Kankri, since when have you called me that?"

"What do you mean silly? I've been calling you that for _forever_! And whoa! Why are you older? You look so different. Ah! Wait, I'm older too! My voice got reeeaally deep and stuff. Cool~!"

I just gave him a dumbfounded look while he giggled mirthfully at my attempt to grasp his speaking and attitude. He looked over at Dad and grinned, waving at him.

"Hi daddy! Why do you look so surprised?"

"I-I..Um, well.."

He giggled again, "Hehe, you're so funny daddy~"

We were all in shock and couldn't even scrounge up even muster or ability to talk because this was so fucking different than what we were used to. Even if this was some joke, Kankri would never act like this for so long. He glanced at Porrim and gasped lightly. He moved a bit closer to Porrim and rested his hand on her cheek.

"Porrim? You look older and different too! Your hair's longer and you have those thingies in your face. Hehe, they're shiny too. And you look pretty too. Like mommy used to!"

That struck a chord obviously.

Dad and I froze up like we were just spotted by a maniacal, meat cleaver toting villain. I bit my lip and looked at my hands still holding his when I felt his hand squeeze mine and I spared a look at him. He seemed genuinely apologetic for mentioning her when she was still such a sore topic even after 10 years.

"Sorry..I didn't.."

"No Kankri. It's okay."

"Oh...okay! If you uh, say so.."

He smiled brightly at me and I couldn't help but smile back. Soon his attention had wandered to Cronus and he nearly fell out of bed in excitement as he moved to hug him.

"Cro!"

"Agh! Uh, hey chief, you shouldn't exert yourself so much y'know?"

"What's 'exert' mean? It sounds like a really big word for you to use Cro~ Hey, you're older just like everyone else! I like your jacket and your hair too~! You look like those guys from the movie I watched before."

I blinked at him. Just like it had started, we were all silent and couldn't say anything but one thing was on our mind.

What the hell was going on?

**A/N: And there we are~ Ooh, I bet you weren't expecting that, were you? But anyways, what happened to Kankri? And how is everyone going to fix it let alone get a grasp on how it happened. Any one of you precious angel baby readers know what happened? If you do, tell me in your reviews~ Signing off 'til next chapter! **


	9. Changes

**A/N: School has taken over my life more than usual, augh! And whoa, I wasn't expecting that surge of reviews last chapter but I was pleasantly surprised by it. I decided to take a different route than the usual ones I read. But most of you guessed correctly as to what happened to Kanny. Yay for you~! **

Karkat's POV

This was surreal in a way with all that's happened in the past few hours.

From the fight with Vriska to the argument I had with Kankri that resulted in us being in the hospital with him. And now he was acting like a child, all smiles and innocent giggles as he played with Porrim's hair. I furrowed a brow and leaned in a bit to gain his attention again. It worked thankfully as he shifted his vision towards me.

"Hey Kankri? Are you feeling okay?"

"Well duh! Of course I am Karky. How could I not be okay? I mean besides the fact that we're in a hospital which is _really _weird cause I don't remember getting hurt or anything but haha, here I am all with band aids on my head. Isn't that kind of funny how stuff happens withou-"

I rested my hand over his mouth. Even if he did act like a kid, he was still a chatterbox. I didn't like this new personality in front of me right now. It was too happy and loud and just not like Kankri at all. I would've yelled at him to quit playing jokes. But 1, I was the reason he was even in the hospital in the first place. 2, yelling at him when he was in this condition was a low blow and I didn't want to give everyone another reason to rip me a new one and 3, his attitude and the way he reacted to things made me hesitant. My irritated look softened though as I stared into his eyes. They were so different. I didn't know what could have went on when he fell to cause this. But I do know that now I'm even more racked with guilt than before.

It was at that moment that the doctor had strode in and we all looked at him, some more eager than most. And by some, I meant all of us except Kankri. I stood up from my seat as he examined the clipboard in his hand and then directing a small smile at us.

Kankri waved cheerfully at the doctor, "Hi Dr. Scratch!"

He chuckled, "Well now look who's awake. Hello Kankri. I trust you are doing well?"

"Mhm! Look, my little brother and my papa and Porrim and Cro all came to see me~!"

"Isn't that good news to hear?"

Kankri giggled and his attention shifted off to the stuffed animal on his bed which gave us a chance to find out what happened. I walked over to Dr. Scratch, wringing my hands nervously and biting my lip.

"Hey.. Dr. Scratch? So what happened to Kankri? Why's he like...this?"

He looked over at me, the smile still remaining though it seemed to carry some stress. Adjusting his glasses, he set the clipboard on the hook at the foot of the bed and readjusted his glasses before stuffing his hands into his coat. A heavy sigh escaped him.

"It's a bit hard to explain. But I will try the best I can to make it clear and understandable to you all. Now Kankri's injuries were quite dangerous, what with him falling down the stairs. He sustained a very terrible head injury which will keep him here for a few days more. His arm was dislocated also but we managed to fix that injury also."

_Alright, so everything seems sort of okay.._

"But.."

_Oh fuck, he said 'but.' Here comes the bad news.._

"It seems that the main concern of Kankri is not his physical condition but his mental condition. His brainwaves as we've recorded is more erratic and whimsical than one would expect of a person of his age. It seems that before the fall, he had suffered a shock of some sort and as he fell, his mind stuck to the thought that kept him in this state until he awoke here. As a result, his mind has shifted from the attitude of a teenager to that of a child. A 7 year old child to be exact."

What?

"Wait, what are you talking about doc?" Cronus stood up from his seat along with Porrim.

Dad stayed seated in his chair with a look of surprise and worry on his face as he glanced at Kankri. But he kept his attention balanced of us as well to hear more.

"What I mean is that he is suffering from a condition that is known as repression. It is a common mental shield of some sorts activated by large amounts of stress and shock that reverts the adult or teen of this manner to a younger state of mind to deal with situation. Kankri was in enough dismay to turn to this state as he fell and remained unconscious until he awoke a while back."

He lifted a hand to fix the collar of his shirt, probably to take some of the tension away.

"He was afraid of dealing with whatever had happened and his mind seemed to obey a wish of some sort and default to the person he is right now. He doesn't remember anything that conspired today. In fact, he does not remember anything past the age he is now, 7. And until he is triggered back to his original mental well being, he will continue to act this way. If he is never triggered by a natural mean, he will stay this way forever. Forced to grow up once more."

I wobbled a bit as I took a step back. The room was silent, shock beginning to settle in throughout the room as everyone registered what was just said. Porrim shook her head in disbelief, taking another step towards the doctor. She, like everyone else, didn't want this to be true.

"B-But this can't be...you can't change him back?"

"I apologize miss, but there is nothing I can do. It is out of my jurisdiction. I pray that whatever," His green eyes narrowed as he looked in my direction, "or whoever had caused this dilemma will help along in the healing."

I felt everyone's eyes on me and shrunk in on myself a bit. God, just when I thought things had a chance to get better and everyone to slowly get over this, it had to go wrong. I didn't know how I could make Kankri himself again. It was clear a simple apology wasn't going to fix this.

"Ah, well I see you have things to work out. I will be back soon when visiting hours are close to over. Good evening to you all."

He turned around and left the room quickly, barely making a noise as the door shut. I pursed my lips and my shoulders slumped visibly as I turned to face the others. They were all giving me disapproving looks. Except for Kankri who gauged everyone's critiquing looks and making a sound of confusion.

"Hey, hey! Why's everybody staring at Karky? Did he do something bad?"

"You could say that Kankri.." Dad gave him a weary stare, visibly upset by this new development.

"Oh no! Karkat, what did you do? Did you be mean to someone again?"

"Oh Kanny, you have no idea..but it'll be alright, he'll make it better just like we will okay dear?" She smiled weakly at Kankri who cocked his head to the side before grinning brightly.

"Oh mkay!"

I just turned my attention to the ground, seeing as it was the only thing that didn't reek of utter disappointment and slight anger and glare at me like I was the most insufferable human being on the planet.

"Karkat?.."

I didn't want to look up. Because I knew he'd give me that curious yet concerned eye he always did. I hated it when we were younger, felt terrible when I received it these days and sure as hell couldn't take it now. A shifting sound accompanied by small gasps from the bed me look up. Kankri was moving towards the edge of the bed where I was, carefully to not move his injured arm to much. There was worry evident in his eyes as he reached me. I winced when he lifted a hand and laid it on my head. Before I even opened my mouth, he tugged me into a tight hug and I didn't bother struggling this time. Despite my guilt and not wanting to even touch him from all the guilt that washed over me in waves, I really needed a hug right now.

"It's gonna be okay Karky. I know it's really stupid when you get in trouble a lot. But I'll be here to help like a big bro should, kay~?"

I let out a bitter chuckle, my face buried in his shoulder as I slowly hugged him back in some sad want for comfort.

"Yeah..."

"Hehe good. I love you Karky."

I felt a strange sensation of warmth in my chest when he said that and it made me squeeze him all the more tighter. Even when everyone was upset with me, he never actually followed their lead. Not once in childhood and not when we were grown teens arguing every day.

I fucked up real bad with how I acted and what I caused. But at that moment...when he gave me a hug that I actually returned, I promised no matter how long it took, I'd redeem myself and bring the old Kankri back. Not just because I felt obliged to, but I really didn't want this outcome to happen..I won't admit but looking at this new Kankri and thinking of the old one, I wanted the old one back.

To give him a real apology for what I did and said and maybe start fresh..

**A/N: I'm sorry for not updating but school and senior junk. Blargh! I apologize for the somewhat shitty chapter and I will attempt to get back to trying my hand at weekly updates~ **


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